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Behind locked doors and closed windows: 1

I find myself in that dark abyss Cruel, malefic, and conscious I know not what I'm writing The purpose or the reason There's no escape route visible Clamouring for breath Screams muffled into whimpers My head hurts— A lot Oh it hurts, it hurts, it hurts I haven't seen love If it's meant to be seen I haven't felt love If it's meant to be felt I haven't tasted love If it's meant to be tasted What is love? I heard, the first glimpse into this rare jewel Is given by the primary caregivers I know not who they are Are they those two bodies— The ones screaming behind the screen The air heavy with a charge That doesn't feel positive Is this love? Then I have ample I see them while I play with Jojo and Mojo It's always those dramatic flailing of arms The crude expressions- theatrical They call me expressive Probably got it from my mother They call my articulation grave Probably got it from my father They see me debating on stage Say I have it in me- a gif...
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Heteroglossia

A demigod with a head of two- One sings hymns, the other screams- Two minds, two voices with an eye each- One that resides in me.

Heteroglossia is a term, coined by the Russian philosopher and literary critic Mikhail Bhaktin, in the literary spectrum to denote the juxtaposition of more than one discourse. I feel it quite personally in my mind where there is the “heavens and the earth colliding”. I know not what this illness is but there are voices inside my head, precisely two, quite eloquent in their declamation over a particular situation that calls for sensitivity and sensibility. Both with disparate judgements, one impregnates my mind with such vile thoughts, suspicion and paranoia; while the other voice fights for its life trying to reason out with ME, pleading me to ignore the former. It creates such conundrum and chaos, my palms involuntarily pressed against my ears to mute the deafening voices; limbs shaking, eyes tearing and my ears searing. The negative always potent and I give in hoping for some respite provided I listen. Call it the “Deal with the Devil”.

Picture credit goes to Eternalcadence in Pinterest. 

 

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